Can Two Bad Apples Spoil the Federal Bunch?

However, the abysmal mal-adminis-tration of two institutional survivors of Federation's 1962 demise, to the point of untapped and unfulfilled potential, hasn't helped my lobby. Both University of the West Indies (my alma mater) and West Indies cricket have become administrative and productive disappointments.

Since the Old Ball and Chain insisted on changing my name (now 'Fred MacMurray'), tertiary education's parental perspective is mine. My parental 'college experience', in New York and Wisconsin, where Old B.C.'s son accrued massive tuition fees learning cow tipping (the occasional error by pushing over a bull instead of a cow, is, of course, called a 'cock-up'), was of helpfulness being the norm. I'm spoilt. Although I lived far away, every requirement was explained in writing months in advance, payment options were spelt out in exquisite detail; and account statements delivered early and often. Teachers bent over backwards to make it a learning experience including permitting teacher-assisted 'do-overs' to ensure decent grades.

Constipation of production

Today's UWI is worlds apart with the perennial plethora of bureaucratic personnel suffering anaemia of interest and constipation of production. Students aren't facilitated with required information. Incorrect information is circulated resulting in acute dislocation and embarrassment. Many teachers are lackadaisical and uncaring, and it still plays the hide-and-seek game with over-emphasis on a final exam. No wonder UWI's academic output is at an all-time low.

Don't get me started on West Indies cricket. An unforgivable lack of foresight, planning or inclination to work long ago began the systemic destruction of West Indies cricket. Twenty20's advent completed the task. In his recently released autobiography, No Holding Back (2010; Weidenfeld and Nicholson; Orion Publishing Group; available at www.amazon.com), Jamaica's greatest fast bowler, Michael Holding, laments the effect on the traditional game of unrestricted 20/20 cricket. Like him, I have little time for this baseballisation of cricket, although I recognise this essential evolvement allows cricket to attract younger aficionados addicted to instant gratification.

However, as George Jackson wrote (1970):

"One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch, girl.

Oh, I don't care what they say,

I don't care what you heard."

In his book, fast bowling's Rolls Royce, who recently received the deserved honour of being named to the official all-time West Indies XI, proposes Test Cricket and 20/20 be separated and ICC rankings used to create two leagues for each with relegation and promotion rules to keep all games as competitive as possible. I've similar views. I'd divide the year into six month segments during which limited-overs games and Tests are played separately. In Test cricket, I'd create a format for a world champion to be crowned each year by placing nations into groups, roughly based on geography (for administrative ease). We'd need to include some minnows (like the West Indies) and some new Test-playing nations. Nobody improves except by competing against better teams.

Groupings might include

• Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Zimbabwe;
• India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Sri Lanka;
• England, Ireland, West Indies [Kenya/USA/Canada].

The groups would play home-and-away Tests (each team assured six Tests per year). Each group's top two would qualify for a six-team play-off (three-Test series; home advantage decided by group record; top two earning first-round byes) with three-Test semi-final series and a grand final five-Test series. The rest of the year would be reserved for limited-overs games, including IPL.

Finally, my all-time West Indies XI. George Headley, Gary Sobers, Viv Richards and Brian Lara pick themselves. Personally, stats be damned, I must find spaces for Everton DeCourcy Weekes (1950s Viv Richards), Rohan Babulal Kanhai (stylist supreme, quintessential team man) and Frank Worrell (world's best captain). There's no team without the undisputed dean of the fast-bowling faculty, Anderson Montgomery Everton Roberts. Regrettably, this means no spot for our best opener, Conrad Hunte, and Sobers/Worrell must together compensate for the forced exclusion of 'Whispering Death'. In batting order:

Frank Worrell (captain) George Headley, Rohan Kanhai, Everton Weekes, Viv Richards, Brian Lara, Gary Sobers, Jackie Hendricks (wicketkeeper), Malcolm Marshall, Andy Roberts, Lance Gibbs. Clive Lloyd, in his prime, before back injury, is 12th man.

If numbers are all-important, why watch the games?

Peace and Love

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Feedback may be sent to columns@gleanerjm.com
Source: Jamaica Gleaner